I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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