You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
