we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Randomize
