How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
