There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You were trust falling into bushes
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize