Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You just made me feel so damn special
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Someone came in the potted fern
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Randomize
