he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
