i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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