Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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