I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
