Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
