Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
