You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
