Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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