Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
