is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
