a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
