Small penises have feelings too.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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