I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
