how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
