dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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