At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
