youre lurking in front of me
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
