no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
