She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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