Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
