Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
