..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We don't watch enough power rangers
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
