Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
