no one should ever give us hovercrafts
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
