Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
