Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Randomize
