who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
