everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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