Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
