tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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