Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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