I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
