i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
