becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
