can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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