It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
