in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize