U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
