I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
