Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
