I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
