yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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