you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Randomize
