theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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