Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
