at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i wish my penis had a tongue
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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