I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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