Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
