lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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