Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i think i have herpe
just one?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
