Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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