I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
