Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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